Bullies come in every shape, size, race, profession, status, religion, and age. Bullying happens at school, work, play, and home. Unfortunately, bullying is a huge problem that affects tons of children and teens. Effects of bullying can include stress, anxiety, depression, feeling sick, and suicide. When a victim is bullied, it changes their world. They no longer feel safe at school or in their neighborhood. They may fear things they previously enjoyed and may avoid many activities.
Some studies suggest that nearly 20% of all American students have been bullied at one point in their academic career. Bullying may include teasing, threatening, harassment, physical aggression, stealing, etc Bullies act out for many reasons. The reasons may include attention seeking, pursuit of popularity, pursuit of power and control, and ignorance-this is how they were raised.
Responding to bullying can be intimidating and stressful. If your child is a victim of bullying, its important that they ignore the bullys threats. Bullies are looking for a reaction. If your child gives no reaction, the bullying may cease. By not showing fear or anger, the bully isnt able to receive the reaction they are most likely hoping for. Children must also learn to stand up for themselves and others. If confronted by a bully, they should pretend to be brave and tell the bully to stop. If they witness another child being bullied, they need to stand up to the bully by telling them to stop and by walking away. Importantly, children must refrain from bullying-back.
If a child is being bullied, it is extremely important they tell an adult they trust. School personnel can help stop bullying if they are made aware of the situation. Bullying has long term consequences. Unless bullies receive intervention, the likelihood they will commit more serious acts is significant. They are also at a higher risk of using drugs and alcohol.
If your childs grades drop, if they withdraw, lose their appetite, have difficult falling asleep, ask for extra money, want to carry a personal protection device, or come home with bruises or other unexplained problems, they MAY be the victim of bullying. Keeping the lines of communication open with your child AND with their school is an important component of reducing bullying and keeping your child safe.
Holly Smith, Ph.D., ABD, has been a credentialed school psychologist for the past 10 years, has experience working as a social worker dealing with families and children, and has taught graduate-level courses in psychology.
Although writing this book, in-part, comes directly from her personal experience during divorce, her vast professional experience lends to the required technical and theoretical expertise. In her former role as a social worker, she was tasked with providing education and training to families during difficult times in their lives.